So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize