It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
