Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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