You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
