He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize