She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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