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We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
