Those balls look pretty dangerous.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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