I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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