ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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