Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
