I love having hate sex.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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