I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
