I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
