If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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