Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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