3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
