Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
