he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
