we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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