hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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