The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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