Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
well you can't waste a boner
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
