sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize