And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
