i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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