white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
