Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
