i can't believe i had my finger in that
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
