I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
