im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
