It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
