Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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