girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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