But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
