He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
