i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
