those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
