I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
