Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I pour the whiskey from now on
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
