I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize