I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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