508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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