Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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