Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
