I need help removing her.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
