Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
