We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
