he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
