Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
