My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
