i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
