Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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