oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
