k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
