Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
