I'm gonna have a badass scar
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
two words...techno handjob
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
