he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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