Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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