I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Buhtt sex?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
