Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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