my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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